So remember when I briefly mentioned how stressful and crazy life has been lately? Well that was kind of an understatement, if you're anyone I see regularly you know my continual complaints about my frustrations with school. I'm not saying this to get attention or have a pity party but as a preface to the extremely humbling and faith building experience that has slowly been happening inside me and I don't know how to express that without explaining things completely.
I've always been good at school and without much effort. I wrote off all the people who told me that BYU was hard but it turns out they were right because I constantly feel like I've picked a fight with someone many times bigger than me; however, I know I'm not the only one but I tend to feel like it.
Surprisingly I've also started to develop the homesickness I had expected but I thought I was immune to the first couple weeks of school.
Even though I am terrified of failing and how bad I think I'm doing right now in comparison to the rest of my life leading up to now I am so incredibly thankful to be here. During the times in my life where I feel like I have absolutely no control of how things are going, no matter how hard I try, it's those times when I feel beaten and near defeat that I can notice the quiet miracles taking place that I might not notice if my pride was glaring any brighter.
First of all, I couldn't ask for a better family. Every time I call home I am showered with love and support and when I don't call home very often I get texts and messages about how they miss me and those words comfort me more than they probably know. It's weird how absence really does make the heart grow fonder. Obviously I always loved my family immensely but being away makes me miss the moments I didn't spend with them. The dating bubble I live in now has also made me love and appreciate my dad and I know that his example of continually service and devotion to his family and all that he believes in is something I wont settle for any less than if I ever get around to dating boys.
Second, I have amazing friends. Luck smiled down on me when I got paired up with some of the best roommates ever. You read about them before but I'll add again how nice they are. I think we've bonded even more. In addition to my roommates, I have met a lot of other incredible people in my ward and on campus that make pleased with mankind.
Finally, I went on a media fast for my communicatons class. It was only three days and luckily Alex Halladay was doing it with me we could be media-less together.
Things I miss about the about the media fast:
-cuddle time with Alex
-lots of naps
-less distractions while studying for my sucky midterms
-realizing how strong my dependence is on technology and how much better life is when we slow down and focus on what matters most.
Things I missed while I was on my media fast:
-encouraging conversations with my family
-being able to talk to people without the help of my friends with techonology
-being distracted
Life is hard but it's also amazing and filled with wonderful blessings that luckily there is someone who loves me enough to cut me down so that I can grow into something even better.
ps. sorry there are not pictures in this, the downside of a media fast, but i hope you enjoyed all the gospel links. Check em out, I don't think you'll be disappointed.
No comments:
Post a Comment